08 2 / 2014
"The blackness he woke to on those nights was sightless and impenetrable. A blackness to hurt your ears with listening. Often he had to get up. No sound but the wind in the bare and blackened trees. He rose and stood tottering in that cold autistic dark with his arms out held for balance while the vestibular calculations in his skull cranked out their reckonings. An old chronicle. To seek out the upright. No fall but preceded by a declination. He took great marching steps into the nothingness, counting them against his return. Eyes closed, arms oaring. Upright to what? Something nameless in the night, lode or matrix. To which he and the stars were common satellite. Like the great pendulum in its rotunda scribing through the long day movements of the universe of which you may say it knows nothing and yet know it must."
Cormac McCarthy (“The Road”, page 15)
Ummm. “The vestibular calculations in his skull cranked out their reckonings”? “Something nameless in the night, lode or matrix”? What the fuck?
Will I be able to enjoy this book, if that was only on page 15 and there’s 287 in this book? Ugh.
Like, am I crazy, or did that passage basically just say “it was dark and silent and he noticed that it was dark and silent and so he walked towards the dark and silence towards something that was dark and silent”? Am I too stupid for this book?? Is it intellectual masturbation??
Sigh. Gonna keep on trudging along, like a fucking dummy.
22 1 / 2014
yllwbrrd asked: i'm white. does that make me bad?
Why do white people ask questions like this? Whenever I get this question, or the thematically similar “Do you hate white people” I just answer with “yes”.
Because that’s the only answer they want to hear.
In context, it makes sense. To a lot of white people, being black IS bad. You can see this evident when a white person tells a black person that they’re “one of the good ones.”
Whites allow for nuances in character for their own race. Rarely are white people grouped into “good” and “bad” categories. You can be a white person who is mostly good, then makes a terrible, terrible decision, but your lifetime of goodness mitigates that bad decision. In other words, white people accept that other white people are complicated and people are the sum of their choices, not merely a reflection of a “good” or “bad” moment.
But Whites LOVE to categorize Blacks as “good” and “bad.” You just have to look at the coverage of Trayvon Martin to see that the fact that he was arrested for smoking pot clearly put him in the “bad” camp right away. After that, Martin’s death was framed as him being the “bad” guy and Zimmerman was helpless but to defend himself.
So, when white people ask “I’m white. Does that make me bad?” what they are REALLY saying is, “I’m white. Are you going to hold me to same simplistic, binary judgement system I hold you to?”